


Much ado about nothing

by Rowenaaa



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, F/M, Friends to Lovers, I may have accidentally created a very complicated religious system and I have many regrets, Major character death - Freeform, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Pureblood Politics, Reborn - Freeform, Romance, Slow Burn, Time Travel, changing the future
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-02-26 20:34:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 21,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21984886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rowenaaa/pseuds/Rowenaaa
Summary: Daphne having been killed at the battle of Hogwarts has been reincarnated as James Potters younger sister. She is determined to stay as far away from the war as possible, but a certain regulus black seems to have others plans.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Regulus Black/Daphne Greengrass
Comments: 10
Kudos: 57





	1. I saw me

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Falling](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20071525) by [trynathink](https://archiveofourown.org/users/trynathink/pseuds/trynathink). 



It took longer then she was proud to admit to become conscious. Fleeting thoughts would pass by but she was never certain of their intention in her mind. She had a hard time thinking for a while. 

Little snippets of light would flash through quickly, she couldn’t comprehend what she was seeing. It was frustrating being so helpless. But Daphne felt things rather then knew. She felt warm, loved, she heard voices and mimics of magic. 

It took far longer then she would ever admit to knowing she had been reborn. Knowing her own death was rather lackluster, it didn’t take long for her to think correctly. She was a baby, she got distracted easily. 

So at approximately one years old Daphne could finally think and realize what happened. Reborn into a new world. Her family gone. Her sister? Probably not her sister anymore. Her new parents were nice though. They were warm, they talked to her. She understood them to an extent. Blessedly they were wizards. She may have offed herself to be reborn as a muggle. A Muggle who knew of magic but could never perform it. Horrible thought that was.

Her parents though, her new ones. They had another child. A son. She had a brother. She never really wanted a brother, a sister was enough. Her chest twisted painfully thinking of her little sister. 

Daphne could hardly believe it. She really had died in battle. Stupidly as well! She hadn’t even wanted to be there but she had to sneak back in and make sure her sister came back. Stupid girl had snuck out of their little group to fight. 

But what had happened to her? How did she die exactly? She remembered little bits here and there but yet she knew nothing about it. She just knew it was stupid because Daphne had no luck with this sort of thing.

The door to her bedroom opened and there popped open a little head of brown. Her elder brother. She looked at him and it struck her he looked like Potter. Almost uncannily like him actually. 

Bloody hell she wasn’t the sister to the boy who lived was she?!

“Ooooh,” his little face smushed onto the bars of her crib. “Ellllleeeeeee.” He stuck his finger into the bar and laughed. 

Why her? Oh why her? 

“James that’s enough now.” The deep manly voice behind her brother scared her into jerking backwards. Her father lifted her brother away from the crib. Her mother smirking next to him. 

“Elenaaaaa!” James called our happily. Her mother stuck her arms into the crib and promptly pulled her out. She was being unusually quiet she knew but the revelations. 

James. He looked like a potter. Harry’s father was name was James wasn’t it? Everyone always talked about him. Her father had liked him, hadn’t he? Always talked about him like he was a god. 

James Potter. 

James Potter was her brother. Her nephew was the boy who lived. 

Her day couldn’t have gotten worse. Warm tears came out of her eyes unwilling. A cry burst from her lips and her mother rushed to comfort her. 

Why her oh why her? 

What could she possibly have done to deserve this?

Well really a good amount of things. It wasn’t her fault honestly! She just followed what her family expected her to do. Really she had no choice in the matter. She cared only for helping her sister but even then, Astoria and her had never been that close. 

The fact that she had died for the girl haunted her. 

(“how did I die?” she whispered-)

The family was so happy. Even as she cried they didn’t stop with their warmth. It made her cry harder. 

She was rather overwhelmed for a long while. Months maybe it took. Time was strange as a baby. She did so little, saw so many things, did nothing. She was bored. 

Her birthday was the only reason she paid attention today. Her parents had made a large spectacle of it. It was akin to the balls people would throw their heirs. She was no heir, but she was the only daughter. Practically the same thing. 

She was rather confused by the whole thing. She was only two. What had she need for these things? Why couldn’t they give her a cake and move on. 

But as was expected of her, she smiled at her parents and loudly proclaimed her thanks. They outdid themselves but she could hardly comprehend the matter at the moment. 

Her father held her and went around showing her off. She smiled at every witch and wizard who cooed at her and made a great big fuss. She hardly remembered parties at this age from when she was Daphne. 

Her father must have grown tired showing her off for he quickly caught the eyes of a man Daphne immediately recognized. Lord Black. 

Terror gripped at her for a moment. The first notable figure she had actual knowledge about. Orion Black was young, striking, and very much could kill you in politics. They had studied him. Dead long before they had even been born. Here in the flesh. 

At his side we’re two boys. She knew exactly who the first one was. Sirius black the mass murderer. Just her luck her father would try to throw her to him. Let the children play he would probably say. 

“Orion!” Her father called out joyfully. She rather regretted the fact that he had done so. Lord Blacks attentions was focused straight on them. “Why keep the kids here? Let them go play, it is a party after all!” Her father was always so happy. He was nothing like her old father. So strict, so demanding. It was hard looking at this man. 

Lord Black smiled carefully and put his hand on Sirius Blacks shoulder. The other boy, looked rather put out as he looked at her father. Curious. 

“Sirius needs to stay here I’m afraid.” He hardly sounded sorry for the fact. His grip on him was rather tight actually. “Regulus though,” he glanced at the other boy, Regulus. “He could play I suppose.” A warning glance she realized. Curious indeed.

Her father if he had noticed the going ons ignored it. He simply put her on the ground to walk on her own. Her dress was bunched up and had to be fixed. “Elena, go with Regulus to the playroom. You don’t need to be stuck with the stuffy adults.” He winked at her and shoved her off to the other boy.

Elena was rather irritated now. She liked the Potters, they were her family she supposed but really? Already setting her up? To a Black of all people? They were supposed to be light wizards! 

Actually maybe they weren’t. The thought struck her as she latched onto regulus hand and dragged him through the crowd. This was obviously a different time line. 

“The playroom is this way!” She called to him as she swerved passed a rather young looking Augusta Longbottom. 

“Oh!” His light tiny voice came from behind her. She hardly could hear him. 

Rushing past the ballroom door she dragged him through the hall and rushed into the room. She turned on him and noticed he looked rather ruffled. He must have been the same age as her. He still looked like a baby! But when she met his eyes she paused. 

Wow. 

So maybe she wasn’t alone? 

“Regulus?” She tilted her head and smiled. She didn’t really know how to act like a child. But here she was doing it spectacularly. 

Regulus played the part of a two year old fine but he slipped up. The more she looked for clues the more obvious it became. 

“Well I was than in a lake! The man had this quee- uh weird look on his face!” He stuttered with a wide eyed look. 

Elena (“Daphne are you okay?”) watched him curiously. “We’re you reborn as well?” 

If she was wrong, well he would probably not remember this conversation. But if she was right...

(“Run! Run!)

Regulus sagged against the plush chair. Her playroom while spacious felt like it was closing in on them. The toys they had littered across the room felt far more everything. It was sudden and horrible. 

“I was obvious wasn’t I?” The solemn tone coming from a toddler was rather hilarious. His face was so cute she could hardly stand and watch him. 

They hadn’t talked after that. Sirius and James had burst into the room. Peels of laughter escaping from their lips as they surveyed the large mess. 

“El!” James ran up to his sister and picked up her up. With all the strength of a four year old could possess he twirled her. “Messy girl!” Sirius watched the siblings interact with a smile. Regulus reverted back to his two year old self and laughed along with him. 

She hadn’t seen Regulus Black again after the party. Not for a long while after. But by then she had her role down. She had come to terms with herself, her future, her very life. 

So why when he waltzed back into her carefully planned life did he feel the need to change it?


	2. he looked

“I’ll miss you most of all Elena.” James looked down at her, the troublesome grin slipping onto his face. “I promise to cause as much trouble as possible.”

She couldn’t help but to roll her eyes at him. “I still want to go next year, please leave the castle standing.” He winked at her but saw something over her shoulder. She turned around wondering what took her precious brothers attention away and saw him. Sirius Black. The murderer? Probably? It stopped making sense after a while. 

“Okay El I’ll make sure to write I have to go bye!” He rushed off to his friend dragging him by the arm and onto the train. She hadn’t even had a moment to tell him not to call her that. 

“Elena.” There stood Regulus. Taller than her of course. Everyone was taller than her, she was cursed in this life. 

“Regulus.” She answered back. Not coldly as was customary when she Daphne, but almost fond? They had hardly seen each other since they were two. But a certain kinship was born with shared experience. 

Their parents had glanced at them and started talking she noticed. Walburga black was terrifying in life and in death. They studied her as well. 

“Your brother and mine are going to raise hell.” Regulus smirked at her, it was strange to see on his baby face. All chubby cheeks and red nose. 

“I’ve already warned James not to break the castle.” She smirked right back at him, her mother seemed to be staring at her with that odd smile. She didn’t think that bode well for them. 

“Elena, Lady Black was wondering if you would like to have a play date with Regulus at the black manor?” Her mother posed it as a question but the way she was looking at her told her what her answer was. 

“Of course mother that sounds fun.” Her mother was well bred, well connected, well everything. She understood even if no one else did. 

Her mother beamed at her, she wouldn’t ruin her mother’s plan. Her father seemed to know but she wasn’t sure what he thought of it. He certainly didn’t discourage it with his amicable talk with Lord Black. 

Regulus watched them curiously as well, calculating almost. When he saw her watching him his face went back to its normal cheer. His parents bid goodbye to hers, and her parents kissed her on the head told her to be good. 

She would never be bad. Raised as an heiress, she knew even if they didn’t teach her in this life. She wouldn’t disgrace her name. 

She walked beside the Blacks. They were intimidating forces of nature. The crowd seemed to part down the middle. The muggles looked confused, and the wizards looked terrified. The Blacks seemed to be gods even in this world.

Lord black put his hand on her shoulder and she felt the sharp tug of apiration. She hated it, she seemed to never fully be comfortable. Couldn’t even get her permit legally, had to bribe some officials. 

Lord black glanced at her once, but it was enough to freeze her in her spot. He was cold, he didn’t move. He was a statue, carved in the likeness of god. “Regulus,” he turned away from her “go off and entertain our special guest.” 

The plan was far more formalized then she had guessed. 

Regulus smiled at his father, he walked around him and tugged on her wrist. Far more gentle then she had ever been with him. 

They walked around the side of the manor into a lush garden. This wasn’t the same place she knew they resided in. This must be their actual guest manor. 

Regulus plopped onto the grass and laid back. Hesitant she did the same and laid next to him. 

“Do you remember how you died?” His voice she noticed didn’t waver. He was quiet, she could hardly hear him. Why did he always speak in such a way? 

“No.” She replied.

They laid there for a while longer. Neither speaking to the other. 

“They want us to marry.” She finally said out loud. She had thought it but never would she have been bold to say it. It seems her family had rubbed off onto her. 

She couldn’t see him but she could hear him shuffle in the grass. “I know.” He turned on his side to face her. “That’s a good thing though. It’ll serve my purpose well.” 

She frowned and turned her head to catch his eye. “What purpose is that?” 

“I want to change the world.”

She burst out laughing. She felt horrible for it of course, but really she couldn’t help it even if she tried. Regulus shoved her and she tilted over in the grass. Still laughing she sat up. “Honestly!” 

He scowled at her. “You’d make a horrible wife.” 

She laughed harder, her hand moving to cover her mouth. “Take that back! Really I have no plan to do anything. I want to live my life and be normal.” She smiled at him and she knew it agitated him. 

“Well why not?” He had at this point sat up as well. “Do you want him to come back?” Suddenly he looked rather apprehensive. As if he had never considered her before.

“Hold old were you when you died?” She asked. Idly she leaned forward on her elbows.

“Seventeen.” Curt but it was a response. 

“I was sixteen, I was about to be seventeen as well.” She smiled a little more sadly now. “I don’t want to fight anymore. I never supported him. I did as my family asked. Then I died.” 

He didn’t seem to be able to take the no. He grabbed her hand and begged. “Please! I can’t do this alone, I was already freaking out but with you we can do it.” 

“How are we supposed to do anything when we’re ten exactly?” Elena (“Daph..” it whispered) muttered. 

He flushed suddenly. “I hadn’t had time to think that far.” 

“You do need help.” She huffed. 

“Children!” His mother’s voice called out through the garden. Her eyes widened and looked down at her clothing. 

Horrid, she looked like a tramp who took a roll down the hill. 

Regulus was laughing. 

She hadn’t meant to say that out loud.

She took a deep breath and let it out. Nope she still looked like a mess. At least he didn’t look better. She trudged along with him inside. Slowly, she didn’t want to be there so soon. 

“I can’t help you much you know.” She whispered to him. “I was born in the 80s, but I don’t know much about how to defeat him. I’m not Potter.” 

He looked at her like she was an idiot. “Sorry not Harry Potter. I was a Greengrass. We didn’t do that stuff.” Regulus looked up for a moment seeming to stop having paid attention to her. 

The loud scream was all the warning she got before she was accosted with cleaning charms. “Left alone for barely any time at all and you already look terrible! Regulus how dare you! You should have known better!” Lady Black rambled on as she cleaned the two up.

She gave them a hard glare before dragging them inside the sitting room. Daphne (“Elena, my name is Elena.”) sat at on a nice couch. Idly chatting with Lady Black about Hogwarts. 

“Oh Slytherin I imagine.” Elena smiled blithely.

Lady Black seemed relaxed for a brief moment before dismissing the children once more. Strange that they only chatted for a few movements.

Regulus walked in front of her carefully taking her past the row of house elf’s that adorned the wall. “This isn’t the same universe I lived through.” Regulus whispered to her. The portraits near by peered closely at them, obviously trying to listen in. 

“Neither mine.” Elena grimaced. “I want to play dolls!” She said rather loudly. Surely that was something ten year olds did? She knew how to act young, she still remembered being ten. But alas she was still filled with fear. 

He turned and made a face at her. “Does it look like I have dolls? Let’s play exploding snap!” 

So it would seem she would never escape the horrid game. Time in the Slytherin commons would be spent playing it. Being one of the few acceptable games to be seen playing she spent many hours perfecting her strategy. But she loathed the game with a fierce hatred. It was so boring. 

There play date went on with no less excitement. They didn’t talk anymore about the future nor their pass lives. There was little to be done for it. 

They said nothing of their upcoming nuptials. They didn’t acknowledge the fact that they hardly knew each other. They just enjoyed their time as Elena beat Regulus in every game of exploding snap.

(“How could you possibly be that good? You’re cheating cheater!”) 

Probably one of the last moments of relaxation for her. 

The weeks following their “play date” passed by painfully slow. She was bored without James, she hadn’t ever been alone like this. 

Astoria would be bouncing around the walls right now. Pulling out quills and multiple bottles of ink to draw beautiful pictures. Her smile would be small, her hair would be up. She would laugh and sing. She would be happy. 

(“Astoria?”)

James was the opposite. He was loud and boisterous. Not a single artistic bone in his body. Dragging around his dragon stuffy and flinging it across the room. Screams and laughter. 

She never thought she missed it. She’s never felt so alone in her life. 

Her mother entertained her when she could. But Euphemia as she learned was a rather busy woman. She never noticed that before. Wasn’t that something? The things you can observe when you weren’t being bothered by a pestering sibling. 

Her father was more likely to be around though, he was like James. He was loud. She ever thought it possible for someone to be prone to screaming but yet so shy. James was like that, behind all his confidence was a shy child. 

Elena didn’t like being alone. She had too much time to think about everything. One existential crisis after another. Was she Elena or Daphne? 

Elena hadn’t existed in her own world, there was no expectation for her to uphold. The Potters weren’t incredibly strict but they obviously followed the pureblood doctrine to an extent.

Engaged to be wed before Hogwarts, but never the heir. Your clothes must never be unkempt in polite company. Lady’s do not offer their hand to shake, they nod. Do not speak unless you must. She learned all this in her past life. She knew the words like they were burned in her heart.

Maybe they were? She had never checked. 

The more time she spent alone the more she missed her past life.

Maybe not her parents, she liked them but she preferred these ones. They were nicer. Her old ones were rather odd? 

She didn’t like that. She didn’t like what was happening. She didn’t like herself. She didn’t like her thoughts. This isn’t what she was like. Her old parents were her real parents. They raised her. But so had the Potters.

They were both good parents. She just preferred these ones. 

With that settled Elena dragged herself out of her comfortable bed and onto the cool floor. Flinching as she felt the floor on her bare feet.

She didn’t feel ten. She didn’t feel sixteen either. She felt like Daphne. She felt nothing.

“Ammy!” She screamed. Why was she screaming? What was wrong with her? Why is she the way she is? Who is she? What is she? What’s wrong with her?

She was so dizzy. Her thoughts didn’t make sense. Her previous thoughts made even less sense now that she truly thought about it. What was she debating? Her love for her family? What? Why was she in bed? What was wrong with her?


	3. The life we live

Regulus wasn’t sure he liked being reborn. His knowledge here seemed useless, he wasn’t the same, his body was annoying, and he had to go to Hogwarts all over again. 

He preferred to stay dead. Not that he remembered it but it sure sounded better than his current predicament. 

Cousin Cissa, Aunt Druella, and mother all were in the lounge. Not the worse thing that could happen but it turned into a horror fest quickly. 

“Regulus my dear!” His mother cooed at him. He didn’t want to walk any closer but the stare she was giving him booked no argument. He was stuck here. Cousin Cissa watched him with a rather bemused look, her usual stare of death wasn’t on which was strange to see. Aunt Druella ignored him and pursed her lips at the letter she had received from her nephew. “Sirius made a horrible mistake.” He knew immediately. 

Somethings it seemed stayed constant in every timeline. 

“Oh?” His rather large eyes widened more. Being a child wasn’t good for him. He missed the after effects of puberty. 

“That filthy blood traitor.” His aunt tittered, Cissa patted her shoulder comfortingly. “Do not worry Walburga, Regulus will restore good faith. Won’t you?” She finally turned her stare onto him. Aunt druella was no more terrifying than his mother, but that was not without trying. 

“Yes Aunt Druella.” 

All the woman cooed at his voice. He hated the world. 

Something had happened to Elena it seemed. His mother was a ball or worry. Not for her health of course but for now it could reflect on them. According to his father the betrothal wasn’t set yet but the plans were made. 

His mother paced back and forth across their foyer. Pulling at her hair. She had never done that before. Not in this world at least. Such tiny differences had been made. Truly it could have been an alternate dimension where his mother pulled at her hair and arranged marriage contracts so late. His aunt and cousin seemed to not even be surprised at her lack doctrine.

In his own world she had set it out before he had even been born. 

“Walburga enough.” His father finally snapped at her. He had wondered when it was going to happen. His mother hadn’t paid attention to a word of course. That would never changed he was sure of it. “The girl just fell ill. It’s normal!” 

Right because of course it was. The potters were a lot more open this time around. Regulus wondered about that. His stupid mind couldn’t focus on the thought, stupid attention span. Bloody attention span really. But why bloody? When had he been one to curse? 

Regulus enough. He practically hissed the words in his mind. He was going insane wasn’t he?

He changed things but not enough. There his mother was with her hair in disarray, his father seemed to stand up to her more. She didn’t curse as much. 

So why hadn’t things changed more? 

“We’re only ten, what could we do?” 

He hated her. She seemed to always be right. 

“Mother?” He made himself sound scared. He hated being a child. He hated a lot of things now. “Will she be alright?” Naive little Reg. Your heart was always welcoming. You accepted easily. You loved with everything you had. You’re no fit for Slytherin.

“Oh my dear baby.” Mother turned on him and turned all her stress on him. She always smothered him. Love, attention, expectations. He expected it. But not the hug. She didn’t like physical touch. Not even in this life had she done it much, no more than was usual.

Now was the exception, was she truly that worried for her? That didn’t seem right. There must be more at stake. No way would they tell him. Don’t worry a hair on your head love. You’re just a child. 

“It’ll be alright. She’ll be fine. Watch you’ll see each other soon.” He felt his mother smile. He was unnerved by the entire interaction.

“Walburga.” 

“Dear go upstairs,” she made a face at him as she pulled away. “Sirius wrote and he left a letter for you.” A letter from Sirius was a miracle. Even as a young boy his writing skills had been horrible, never wrote at all. Regulus couldn’t blame him of course, he wouldn’t want to write home to his parents if they hated him nearly as much. 

Smiling at his mother he bounced up the staircase. This time line hadn’t been different from his original one but still he was apprehensive. They didn’t reside at his childhood home nearly as much, spending more time in their Spanish manor instead. Today though was different, they had to be close by for updates. 

His room was where he remembered it being. He hadn’t been in this room much since his reincarnation, he hadn’t liked the memories it brought back. Logically he knew when he opened that door that it wouldn’t look the same. He’s seen how the room has looked, he had redecorated it himself! Yet as he pushed open the door he expected to see the posters, the green, that news-clippings. He expected a lot of things. 

Still it was a pleasant surprise to see a rather toned down room. Childish still with toys littering the ground, paper skewed in the corner and thrown books on his bed.

The letter was supposed to be here but where he wasn’t sure. He walked around the room slowly inspecting every corner. It’s different but still the same. There was even that little stain on the wall that he had never managed to take out. 

It was unsettling to see. Still he should take pleasure in the little things like this. It wouldn’t last long, in a few short years everything would be gone. No matter how much of the future he changed things had to stay the same. Sirius would abandon him. 

Treasure the moments you have and don’t look to far ahead. It was his mantra for the time being. Just until he had the power to make the changes he needed done. Nothing consequential has happened to the future yet, the marriage was new but he would live with it. His duty came first, his family remained. Everything he did it was for them. 

But yet he still felt the pang of something in his chest. When his mother went off, when his father stood passive at her side. He adored them, he would till the bitter end. The things said and done wouldn’t leave him alone. 

He glanced around half looking for the letter. His mother could have been lying about it, that was always an option. Would she? Maybe, she had wanted to rid him. Even in this life she still lied to him, lies piled on lies. He was conscious of his life. Of what she said. He knew what she was saying but he didn’t comprehend it enough. Never enough was it? He was never enough for her? He wasn’t worth the truth, not in this life nor any life before it.

Bitter bile rose into his throat. A painful sting was felt behind his eyes. “Why am I crying?” He whispered. Pushing through everything he moved to his bed.

As he finally moved the last book away there sat a letter. He could hardly believe his eyes, his mother hadn’t lied? He rushed to grab the letter and tore it open. Hungrily he scanned the words only to be left in disappointment. Sirius had left a letter for him. Of course he hadn’t written it himself, it was rather a letter written by his best mate James Potter. 

The prat! He couldn’t even bring up the energy to pen his own letter? James had littered the letter with little comments of his own, often sarcastic and childish. Commenting on the state of his dress of all things really. 

But the words were Sirius. They had him written all over them. Even if it wasn’t his handwriting he could cherish it all the same. 

He laid down in the bed scanning the letter over and over again. Sirius and him hadn’t been close in this life. He couldn’t bring himself to move closer. He would have relished the attention of his brother but now when he looked at him he saw the scared teenager who ran away from him. Who didn’t love him enough to take him along. 

It could be his fault Sirius didn’t care to write himself. After all he hadn’t made many attempts to cultivate a relationship this time around. Still what brother wouldn’t write? Idiotic ones most likely. 

Regulus found solace in his alone time. He hadn’t changed much in that respect, he liked to be on his lonesome. Alone forever. 

It was only fitting that his mother took that moment when he had finally relaxed to call him down. Regulus sighed and put down the sheet of paper. 

Snatching the letter from his bedside table, he stuffed it into his pocket. With a look of resigned irritation he forced himself down the stairs. Ignoring the line of judgement from the portraits. Walking down the hall was a test of patience forever and always. (“Look at his posture-“”I cant believe they let him walk freely!””In my time children were left in their-“) always watching, always talking. Only seen never heard. That was the life of a boy before eleven. It was the life of the spare. 

His mother seemed far more relaxed now. She sat in her lounge chair sipping what looked like wine. His father was no where to be found. 

Patting the seat next to her she beckoned him forward. “Regulus,” she smiled in a way that I hadn’t seen in a long time. “I know you worry.” He froze mid-step. His mother grabbed his forearm, the left one he noticed with a thin veil of anxiety, she pulled him down into the seat. With a low exhale he allowed it. “She’ll be okay, I told you. You get so worked up all the time.” He frowned. He wasn’t really worried so much about her, not that he didn’t feel a slight sort of worry, yet he couldn’t clue his mother into that could he? 

“Yes mother.” Regulus said. Obedient as every child must. “I know she’ll be fine.” 

She took a sip of her wine and peered down at him. He had never been so happy before to know she couldn’t read his mind. A hazy memory of past anxiety, of her knowing when he had been bad. He was his own self discipline. She hadn’t even need to do anything had she? Mother patted his cheek. Taking another sip of her wine she turned away. His aunt and cousin has returned to the room. 

Cissa was carrying a little package with her, she winked at him and handed it over. On the package was a note. 

From Regulus,

To Elena 

Oh. Was that what they wanted him for? He hadn’t turned eleven yet and neither had she. But marriage rights be damned he supposed.

They always did demand gift rights for marriage hadn’t they? He could hardly remember any of it now. It was a lifetime ago. 

“It might be a little early, she’ll appreciate it though I’m sure.” They smiled so happily. What were they trying to get from this? Why were they so focused on the Potters? We’re they powerful here?

“What’s wrong with her?” Regulus said. He bit his lip, to do this would require it to be sealing. He hadn’t been aware it was this far along. Damn it all they were already moving. He had been rather nonchalant while talking to her about it but that changed nothing. Even here he was being used for some purpose. She may have accepted it but he couldn’t. He was fine marrying her but they were pushing so early. Why had they done this? What were they gathering? 

Aunt Druella pushed him forward. They were leading him outside pass the wards. His heart was practically leaping out of his chest. His anxiety had all but fled him but now it seemed to have come back with a forceful vengeance. White seemed to cloud his minds eye. 

“The black madness has started Regulus.” It was Cissa who pulled him back to reality. Blinking slowly he felt the tug on his naval. 

Apparating had always been his most hated activity. Followed quickly with dying.

The black madness was enough to have him pause. It was a phenomenon that took many shapes but it started with every member. Bellatrix in his original life had gone insane in her devotion. Cissa had grown to her name, she was extremely vain. Andy had run away with a muggleborn. For the most part that had played out the same. Bella’s hadn’t played out, yet there was nothing he could do to save her. She was slipping away. Cissa fussed more, Andy was already gone. 

Yet for the madness to target a future member, it all but solidified her in the family. It accosted her life. Robbed her of the choice. Their contract was formed for life. Bound to his side and his wishes. 

He could force her to change the future. 

They always did demand gift rights for marriage hadn’t they? He could hardly remember any of it now. It was a lifetime ago. 

“It might be a little early, she’ll appreciate it though I’m sure.” They smiled so happily. What were they trying to get from this? Why were they so focused on the Potters? We’re they powerful here?

“What’s wrong with her?” Regulus said. He bit his lip, to do this would require it to be sealing. He hadn’t been aware it was this far along. Damn it all they were already moving. He had been rather nonchalant while talking to her about it but that changed nothing. Even here he was being used for some purpose. She may have accepted it but he couldn’t. He was fine marrying her but they were pushing so early. Why had they done this? What were they gathering? 

Aunt Druella pushed him forward. They were leading him outside pass the wards. His heart was practically leaping out of his chest. His anxiety had all but fled him but now it seemed to have come back with a forceful vengeance. White seemed to cloud his minds eye. 

“The black madness has started Regulus.” It was Cissa who pulled him back to reality. Blinking slowly he felt the tug on his naval. 

Apparating had always been his most hated activity. Followed quickly with dying.

The black madness was enough to have him pause. It was a phenomenon that took many shapes but it started with every member. Bellatrix in his original life had gone insane in her devotion. Cissa had grown to her name, she was extremely vain. Andy had run away with a muggleborn. For the most part that had played out the same. Bella’s hadn’t played out, yet there was nothing he could do to save her. She was slipping away. Cissa fussed more, Andy was already gone. 

Yet for the madness to target a future member, it all but solidified her in the family. It accosted her life. Robbed her of the choice. Their contract was formed for life. Bound to his side and his wishes. 

He could force her to change the future. That all relied on the fact that she had come from far enough in the future to be of any meaningful help. 

His aunt had dug her hand into his shoulder. He hadn’t paid a hint of attention as they walked down the hospital. They were in front of a white door. Behind that door he had a feeling about.

The package was shoved into his hands again. He glanced up and noticed the Potters walking to them, Lady Potter with that bright smile that never seemed to leave her face. Lord Potter with his large glasses and his far more confused smile. 

They were making small talk, he hadn’t wanted to listen but they forced him into it. The Potters seemed hardly able to comprehend their presence. Finally it seemed they reached an awkward silence. 

Lord Potter (“Call me Fleamont!”) coughed. “Regulus why don’t you give your present to her? She’s been itching for actual company now for months.” Regulus had no clue what he actually meant by that but smiled nonetheless. 

He walked in hesitant. The adults all watched him for a moment before shutting the door leaving him alone with her. She was awake thankfully and looking at him crossly. 

“This is your bloody fault.” The first words she had said to him in how many months? 

“Actually it’s more my family curse. You could blame this on our parents.” 

“Yeah well I want someone to blame and it has to be you.”

“Why does it half to be me?”

“I can’t very well blame them!”

“If you’re going to act like that I could not give you you’re gift.”

This seemed to peak her attention. Looking decidedly not crossed all of a sudden she grinned at him. Regulus hadn’t felt elven after, but arguing with her brought out the child in him. Sometimes he couldn’t just bother with pretending, but it hadn’t seemed to matter now. 

“Can I have it?” She said. Regulus raised an eyebrow and moved to hand it over. She opened it carefully and pulled out a nice ring. 

“Oh.” 

He hadn’t felt this uncomfortable in a while. The awkward silence that fell them was worse than the one outside the door. He looked away from her shocked gaze and noticed her hair was different. 

“I see it affected you than.” Her hand raised to the white strand in her black hair. He wondered what it meant. 

“Like I said this is your fault.” 

“No it isn’t”

So they argued for a while longer. The ring laid in the bag for a while longer before she finally shoved it on. Their argument seemed to only grow worse from than on. 

Their parents had walked in eventually and smiled. Children they thought would be children.


	4. the mighty men

In the depths of her echoing mind Elena hadn’t had much to worry about. She didn’t have to think very much, she could relax. She could relive the happy moments. It was fun. 

She couldn’t escape anymore. Awake and very conscious of her parents worried stares Elena couldn’t escape them. She didn’t want to worry them anymore than she already had. Who did she think she was to fall unconscious? She had no right to make such a show of herself. 

Poor little Daphne and her problems. You are an heiress, you can’t afford to have problems. You must shine, you are perfection. Everything is okay. 

“Elena,” her mother’s soft hands touched her cheek. “go back to bed. You shouldn’t be up yet.” Even as she said it, she helped Elena sit up. Seeing Black earlier had made her sicker than she already was. The healers tittered around her pushing her hair away to check her throat. 

The Black curse was a thing of myths. It was supposed to be, but with her bitter luck it wasn’t was it? Her hair, a nice shade of black, was turning white of all shades. She already had the lightest shade of blond before yet here she was again. This time it was natural of course. Because Elena just simply couldn’t catch a break. 

Silly girl. The healer was talking over her head. She would be okay, that was the only thing she gathered from the conversation. She was all too ready to hop out of bed and run to her bedroom. She found herself missing the stuffed bear James had left for her, childish but she afforded the embarrassment.

The healers hands pushed her back onto the bed. She couldn’t bring the energy to fight back. She hated the weakness she felt, but there was nothing to do. She was stuck here until the black madness made itself more clear. 

Her eyes were getting heavy. She felt herself make a distressed growl, she couldn’t lift her hands anymore. The healer was a liar.

She wouldn’t be okay.

The next time she woke up, it was night. The sky was dark, the window facing her bed was wide open. She felt fine but at any moment she could be enveloped in darkness. 

Elena pushed herself up. She needed the loo and badly. Yet she couldn’t push the thought to her legs. They wouldn’t move. Sighing she moved the blanket off. Now she could move just fine. Odd, she would revisit the moment later. 

Stepping onto St Mungos floor was unpleasant. Artificially cold, not natural. She hated it. She didn’t like a lot of things did she? Was that her past life’s fault? Daphne hadn’t been found of a good deal. 

She was Daphne, but Elena felt a certain difference with her past life. Years in this body had her feel new. Whole without the expectations. 

Padding out of the room was easy, finding the loo less so. She got lost a few times but eventually she made it. She stepped in front of the sink and screamed. 

Her hair! Her beautiful hair! White. Before the one streak that had enveloped it was enough to irk her. But now seeing her hair completely covered. She felt something encompassing. Her hair was it. She was done. Why was she crying? It was beautiful. 

Longer than before, just to the middle of her back. Wavy instead of stick straight. Soft and tangle free. She wanted to cry harder. The black madness had such a dreadful name. This was glorious! 

Confidently she left back to her patient room. She could live like this. Daphne would have killed someone for doing something to her hair. She hated the blond, but she wasn’t Daphne was she? Not completely anymore. Elena liked her hair, she liked the way it fell. 

She died, she died disfigured. They took her beauty, they took her hair. How had she died? 

Elena shook her head clear, she didn’t have to think about any of that. She was free to be who she wanted. Her father was reading the paper on his chair. He was humming that sweet toon that never seemed to leave him. 

He passed her a slip of paper and she beamed. James had finally written, after two weeks he was proud to proclaim he was apart of the house of Lions. Despite herself she was happy for him. She was in a generally happy mood, she couldn’t feel an ounce of irritation. She herself was a Slytherin though. 

The thought was enough to make her pause in her reading. If she was sorted into Slytherin would James still be happy with her? The prejudice was well and alive even now. 

It’s a thought for another time. Elena continued reading. He hadn’t blown up Hogwarts, but he had set fire to a teachers hair. Sighing she set the letter down. 

She was bored. She almost wanted to go back to Hogwarts, she wasn’t excited to relearn everything but she was excited to see the castle. It was home. She had spent more time at Hogwarts than she had ever at her childhood home, hell she died at Hogwarts. 

Elena paused midway through standing. She had died at Hogwarts hadn’t she? Right in the corridor on the fifth floor. Her sister's face flashed across her eyes. She remembered the smell of her hair. Even before she died, she could smell the cherries and fire. Astoria her dearest sister. What had become of her? 

She was so determined to set the memories behind her. She didn’t want to be in pain anymore. She loved her family, she adored them. Yet she couldn’t think of them. 

Her sister wasn’t born yet, she was gone she- “Ella.” The gentle voice of her father pulled her away. She was still halfway from standing, an awkward position to find herself in. Her father was staring at her with a small smile. For the first time she noticed the lines around his eyes, had he always looked so old? His dark hair was growing lighter. He reached out and gently pulled her towards him. Still smiling he pushed her hair away from her face. She frowned at the gesture, she didn’t want anyone touching her hair.

“You know I love you.” It wasn’t said as a question yet Elena nodded anyway. She wasn’t sure where he was going with this. “You don’t need to worry, i’ll always take care of you.” Her frown deepened. What did he mean? 

“I know.” 

“Just because you’re ill, it doesn’t change anything. Do you understand?” She nodded once more. He was visibly struggling, his eyebrows creased. “I love you and James more than anything else in the world. Whatever happens we will deal with it together. You don’t have to be anxious about the future.” 

The pieces clicked together. He must have read her expression, for the anxiety he picked up on. He was close to the mark, she was worried about the future. Just not the one he thought she was. Still the reassurance was nice. Her father wasn’t a man of words, he preferred action. To make the effort to reach out to her touched her. 

She loved him as a daughter loved her father. She hadn’t known this type of affection. She had loved her past parents, she had been over that. But seeing it reinforced everyday shined a new light on her old life. She had been so unhappy. Chained to them. 

Her father stood from his seat and kissed her forehead. “Get some rest Ella. You have a long day ahead of you tomorrow.” He winked on his way out of the common area. She had no idea what he was on about. She was finding she never truly understood him half the time. That’s just what she liked about him.


	5. The power of no

Christmas couldn’t have come sooner. She missed James terribly, at first it was easy not to be so concerned with him. As time went on though she realized that his prescience was something she took notice of. They weren’t especially close yet she cared enough. 

Elena wasn’t sure how to feel about any of it. Better to push it away. She promised herself she would deal with it another time. She simply didn’t have the mental space to deal with it. Of course she could make the space, but it was rather inconvenient.

The break was just on its way. Her mother had left for the train station, she would bring James directly here she had promised. Elena and her father had both opted to stay home. Elena because she wanted to surprise James with the new hair look, her father because he was planning a little surprise for James. Not that their mother knew, but that wouldn’t kill her. 

She would have disapproved, her mother wasn’t a fan of pranks and mischief. Pranks were harmless though, besides seeing James getting pranked was awesome. His face is what made it fun.

Elena sat in the front room, close enough to the door to where she would see them walk in but far enough to where they wouldn’t see her. Her hair was up in high bun with a few hairs falling out at the front. It was home, so her hair could stand to be slightly messy but messy. Her comfort James wouldn’t notice but someone like her mother would. 

She had been rather uptight about her upkeep for years now. She had never let herself slip. Elena struggled and continues to struggle over her identity. Daphne could never allow herself to grow comfortable, not even at her home. Her hair was always done, in braids and away from her face. Her makeup, when done, was immaculate and never ran. She was always so put together. 

She was young, a child. She wasn’t expected to do any of that yet. She relished the lack of expectations. She only had to do so much, pre Hogwarts was a time to live. She embraced her life as it was now. She couldn’t wait to attend Hogwarts, but she would miss the freedom. 

Daphne wouldn’t have liked the idea of losing freedom. Truth be told neither did Elena. She was separated from her old self, was it a conscious decision? She wasn’t sure. Leaving a lot of things behind was hard. She was actively reconfirming her own identity. She mourned so many things and yet couldn’t remember others.

She had passed away. Daphne was dead. Astoria hasn’t been born. Her parents were alive and careless. They wouldn’t be married for another year. Their families were friendly, the potters and the Greengrass. She had seen glimpses of her uncles and aunts. Younger and significantly less uptight. It was strange to see them. She wasn’t sure how she would handle seeing her old family.

The door was opening. She sat up from her slouching position. Comfortable or not there were just certain things she couldn’t allow herself. 

James bundled right through with all the energy that only an eleven year old could muster. He looked different in a good way. He had filled out, he was still skinny but in a less scrawny way. His hair was longer and curled now. He was looking around and drinking in the house. It had only been a few months but he acted like he hadn’t seen it in years. 

She stood from her seat and slowly walked over. She hadn’t lost any of her flair for the dramatics. In that Elena and Daphne were the same. Despite all their differences they stood united on that topic. 

He stopped his animated chatting immediately when he saw her. His mouth was still moving but his voice wouldn’t come out. Elena found it comical and couldn’t help laughing at him. Their mother patted James on the head indulgently and walked away from them to get his stuff back in his room. 

“Your hair!” It was the first thing he had spoken to her since he had left in September. He was still staring as if she was a ghost. “Mum let you dye it?” he said. 

“No,” she smirked. “she didn’t.” 

“Then how-“ he stopped. “Hey where are you going?” 

“What’s in your bag!” 

“Don’t touch it!” James bounded behind her as she tore up the stairs. “Eler please!” 

If he thought he could throw her off with the old nickname he was wrong. Elena had saw something poke out behind the corner and immediately knew where it came from. 

“I can’t believe you brought a cat!” She screamed as she lunged for her the fluffy monstrosity. “It’s so cute!” 

“Put him down! He doesn’t like being-“ he winced “See I told you! He doesn’t like being held. Scratches like a dragon.” James reached from behind her and plucked the cat from her hands. 

Elena rubbed at her face. Tears pricked her eyes as the cuts stung her face. Daphne wouldn’t have cried. She’s stronger than anyone in hogwarts. She would have thrown the cat, Daphne simply didn’t care. 

She still was Daphne, just in a new body. Who was she kidding herself? She could never escape her past. The cuts were burning, she couldn’t stop crying. What was wrong with her? Daphne would never be so weak. 

“Elena.” 

She hid her face from her brother. His worry was making her more embarrassed. She was so weak, how could she allow herself to fall so hard? She was a Pureblood. Purebloods do not show weakness. They do not cry, they do not whine. They hide everything from everyone and anyone. No one knows you, you don’t know anyone. 

She was just a little girl. Why had they done this to her? Why couldn’t they treat her like everyone else? All the other children had parents who loved them. They smiled at them. Even Draco smiled sometimes. Why had they been so different? What were they hiding? 

“-darling please?” Her father's large hands pried her hands from her face. Through her tears she saw the blood covering her hands. All she could see was her sister. Astoria was bleeding. She wouldn’t stop bleeding, she didn’t know enough. She wasn’t smart enough to run. 

The blood was cleared immediately. Her mother was yelling at James. She couldn’t hear anything anymore. Astoria was screaming at her. Why was she so weak? Why wasn’t she good enough for her? 

“Oh Elena-“ 

“Come on-“ 

“James Fleamont Potter! When I-“ 

“Daphne why were you there!” 

She couldn’t breathe.

She woke up in her bed. Her face felt tight and uncomfortable. It felt like someone had replaced the skin of her cheeks. 

She wanted to cry some more but her eyes were dry. She sat up and promptly laid back down. It was too cold to move. She was tired, she could still hear her mother’s screams. Her brothers fear. Her father panicked. She could feel her sister's blood. 

The door opened slightly and in walked the devil cat. Proud and fluffy. It strutted into the room with all the arrogance only a cat could pull off. It jumped on her bed and made its way to her pillow. She wished she had the energy to push it away. 

She sat up startled as she felt her face. She had a scab on her cheek. In the same place, he had thrown a rock at her face hadn’t he? 

You died. 

He had thrown the rock and hit her cheek. It scratched her. She cried. She hadn’t cried in so long, not in front of people. She was so weak.

She had died, he had died. But how? How? 

She couldn’t allow herself to cry. She couldn’t pretend to be ten anymore. She wasn’t ten, she was so much older. She was almost an adult. She envied those around her who were so ignorant. There was only one person who understood. 

She couldn’t see him now. Not like this. Her parents would never allow them to see each other before hogwarts. Not for long periods of time at least. Still, nothing forbade them from writing to each other. 

She threw her legs off the bed but the door opened again. This time with a bang. Her brother ran in, followed by two boys. The scream she let out stopped them from moving in more. She threw the blankets around her and hid her face. 

“Come on little sister!” Sirius black cried out. She peaked out of her blanket to see him standing a respectable distance away. Good. Not all manners were left behind. 

The other boy stood behind Sirius with a nervous smile. He was holding a bear and chocolate. Small and stubby the boy looked like a chipmunk. 

James was the closest, he was hesitating next to her. But when she glanced at him he took it as invitation to hug her and cry out a hurried apology.

“-listen mum really tore into me! Something about illegal pets and the ministry-“ 

“We told him it was a bad idea sister.” Sirius interjected.

“-and well you know how I feel about rules.” 

She had never realized how much she hated those two. She loved her brother she did, but right now? No. Sirius was smirking at her and the other boy shuffled closer.

“My mum told me to bring this for you. She uh said it would make you happy.” Awkward but nice enough. Peter was the type of boy that could possibly grow up into someone you would like to know. He died though. Sirius black had betrayed the potters and murdered peter. Everyone knew that. But why? 

This Sirius, the one laughing with James as Peter flushed, couldn’t hurt a fly. He called her sister and laughed so brightly. He was so happy. Happy people wouldn’t do something so bad. 

She could change the future. She didn’t have to let them die. 

“Thank you.” She tried to smile at Peter but her cheeks still hurt.

“Hey why aren’t you wearing the ring?” Sirius broke every code of propriety and climbed onto her bed. He yanked her arm out of the blanket and searched for the aforementioned ring. “Aunt Druella went through a lot of trouble for it, you should be wearing it.” 

She frowned at her and took her hand back. She didn’t mention that manners dictated you don’t wear jewelry to bed she hadn’t needed to. 

“Sirius do you ever pay attention?” Regulus peaked into her room and kept his fixed on Sirius. She covered herself with her blanket even though she didn’t need to. James moved onto her bed as well and blocked her from everyone’s sight. “Jewelry in bed is a big no.” 

“Get out Regulus.” Was that James? James had never spoken so stern before. He was so soft spoken and sweet. She couldn’t believe it. “You know the rules.” 

“Your friends shouldn’t be in here either Potter.” She winced at the insult. She wanted to step in and tell them off. She couldn’t though. She would make a fool of herself. Daphne was coming back to her. Daphne always watched. 

“Pete can you oh thanks. Sirius do you mind?” The sound of footsteps. 

“Elena my mother, and I’m quoting here, if you may step out of your room and show her your pretty face.” She peered over James shoulder and noticed the slight pink tinge on Regulus.

“Please tell Lady Black I’ll be down soon.” She waited for Regulus to leave before continuing to James. “That wasn’t nice.”

He stiffened and turned around to face her. He still looked angry. The devil cat walked over from its spot on her pillow and sat in his lap. “He knows better than to be in here.”

“You know better than to bring anyone but family into my room.”

“Sirius is practically family already! He calls you sister and everything-“

“Sirius probably doesn’t remember my name.”

“-Pete wasn’t even really in here, he was just in the door.” 

“James please leave. I have to face Lady Black and I need to hurry.” James frowned at her again. She was starting to hate that expression more and more. 

“Listen if he bothers you I’ll do something. I have another friend Remus, I’ve told you about him in it last letter, he’s really smart. He could probably figure out how to get you out of that stupid contact. You don’t have to do anything.” She already knew how to break the contract, but she wouldn’t do it. Still the thought counted.

“That’s nice Jamesy dear but please leave now.”

Lady Black was exactly as she remembered her. Beautiful, intimidating, and cold. They had only talked for a few moments before both her and Regulus had been kicked out to the back gardens. 

As was proper for pre hogwarts children they walked side by side not touching. They walked at a leisure pace out the doorway and into the hallway. For some time after they continued in silence.

Stepping into the garden she grabbed his wrist and dragged him to her secret spot. A little hole in the bush. Just big enough for two children. Regulus had made a fuss about getting dirty but she dragged him after her. 

If she was risking her hair he could risk his trousers. “Listen this is important,” she was fully reminded of their first real talk in the gardens at black manor. “I don’t want to change the future. But I can’t let some things happen.”

“That’s great!” Regulus lit up immediately. He went from a sullen child to a hyper one. “We could get started as soon as-“

“No that’s not all. I don’t want to be involved in this you know who business. I just want to protect my family. Which means by extension I have to protect your family as well. We’re all tied together even in my time.” She bit her lip and kept her arms close to her chest. Their knees were already touching. 

“Oh.” He fell flat once more. “We don’t have to fight. I’m not joining again, I already know what will happen. How much do you know? We have to trust each other. No secrets between us. Deal?” He stuck his hand out to her. 

She could only stare. A pureblood man must never shake hands with a lady. You are to defer to your husband. You must not lower yourself to their standards. He was so forward she could hardly believe it. “Have you always been like this?” She couldn’t help the question slip.

He didn’t seem to deterred in the least. “I’ve been different, I think I’ll act older as I age. It’s just weird okay I can’t control it. See? No secrets.” She pursed her lips but lifted her hand away from her chest and shook his. 

“Okay deal than. You help me I help you.”

“Right so we need a plan. I need to know what you know, you come farther than me. You said you were a Greengrass right? Lucky, I’m still me. I was Regulus Black.” She couldn’t believe it. This forward little brat was an actual Black? At first she thought he was like her, a reborn new one. She couldn’t even remember the original Lord Black having more than one son. He could have actually for all she knew. They hadn’t focused on personal relationships.

“I hope you realize this means every slip up for your manners is inexcusable. I was ready to let you go for it, but you were raised to be perfect! How could you forget such little things-“

“Okay so the plan!” He cut her off with a fond smile. “So we need to take him down. He’s rising right now, my cousin Bella has been talking about joining up. In my time she was a high member of the hierarchy.”

“Right Bellatrix Lestrange. She was his right hand man. An absolute lunatic, ah no offense.” She smiled prettily. “But really she escaped Azkaban. She was insane.”

“That sounds about right. That’s the Black Madness. It targets everyone differently. She got I think obsession but it might have gotten worse in Azkaban. So step one of our plan is to make sure she stays away from them. Without her he might lose a lot of political clout. He doesn’t have the backing of the old purebloods yet. We’re neutral right now, but Bella pulls us into the war.”

“Right we need to stop his rise. The Potters won’t join, that's a given. How do we stop the Blacks?”

“Sirius.”

“Sirius?”

“He abandoned the family when he was 16, he ran away to the Potters.” Regulus plucked at a leaf and threw it in the dirt. 

“Oh.”

“Yeah so we need to make sure Sirius stays this time. If he’s heir he has a lot of power to influence what we do. Grandfather is going to die in about four months, father will take the official title of Head of House right after. Sirius will be groomed even more.” She bit her lip and looked up. She wasn’t ready for this. 

“About Sirius he went insane.” It was out now. She would have to tell him eventually. 

“What?”

“From what I heard in the papers he was a psycho murderer and got my brother and his wife killed. They were like 20?” Then again it was the Prophet and everyone knew not to believe a word it said. 

“Oh Merlin.”

“This is going to be difficult isn’t it?” She couldn’t help but laugh at his expression. Indeed they would have time for it. She was determined to change things just enough, maybe she could be happy again. 

“You have a leaf in your hair.”

“What!” She jumped out of the bush and screamed as she tore the leaves out. Her hands were covered in mud. Her hair had little flecks of bush in it. 

“Elena Merlin stop it! You’re making it worse!”

“Get it out! Get it out now!” She stomped her foot as regulus tugged pieces of mud out of her roots. 

“Hey! Get your hands off my sister!”

“Merlin Reg! What did you do?”

“Are you serious?” Sirius opened his mouth ready.

“Don’t you dare say it!” She shoved regulus away from her hair for a moment to glare at Sirius. “Get it out of my hair.” Her voice went icy. She hadn’t felt so much like Daphne in so long. It was like meeting an old friend again.

Her brother and his friends stopped laughing at her tone. She was happy that she still had that effect on people. Even if they were twelve. 

“Ammery!” The dutiful little elf appeared quickly and took charge of the situation.

As all five children walked quietly into the tea room they acted as if they had not slung mud at each other moments before. They ignored the obvious that Regulus and Elena were far too giddy. James was glaring suspiciously at the two. She didn’t let that stop her smile.

She would protect him even if he didn’t know. James and his son. Because even if she wasn’t close with Harry, they were family now. Family stuck together. 

“Oh what happened to your face by the way?” Regulus just had to ask her. The smile slipped from her face immediately. She was ready to rearrange his face for asking.


	6. my love, my life

“Elena,” the train pulled away from the station. Her parents were tearfully waving the two of them away. She reluctantly tore her eyes away from their retreating figures to look at him. “I haven’t been completely honest with you.” 

She wished she could summon some form of anger for him. But she couldn’t. She hadn’t told him everything, there were still secrets, even with their deal of no more secrets. 

She touched the ring on her finger looking for some sort of comfort. She had taken to it, a sort of coping. She struggled with everything now. “Well spit it out than.” 

“Not here. When we get sorted into Slytherin there’s a place we can talk. But I need you to know. I can’t hold it in anymore.” His facial control was getting better, yet he still exuded the energy of an eleven year old. His facial structure allowed for such clear innocence that sometimes even she couldn’t tell when it was an act. She searched his eyes for some sort of explanation. 

So much time spent together and she still wondered how much she actually knew him. He was her only friend at this time. She had to trust him, she had no choice.

She let out a small breath and forced herself to stop touching her ring. “Okay when we get there-“

“Sorry is this compartment taken? Can I sit here?” Without waiting for an answer a girl even shorter than Elena walked in. She had thought herself rather petite but looking at the blond girl she realized she must be rather average size. “I’m Nellie Greengrass and I’m going to rule hogwarts.”

Her mind went blank. Nellie Greengrass had died at 14 years old in a murder suicide. Her father would never breathe a word about her. Her mother would cold mention a boyfriend. She only saw one photo, the only time her father showed a hint of emotion was when he saw that photo on her birthday. Her hand went to her ring. She gently rubbed it and tried to breathe. Her facial expression was under control. 

“-Eveline Greengrass right? My brother mentioned her.” Regulus was talking for both of them. Bless him he usually let her talk. She remained quiet as her dead aunt sat next to her.

“She just graduated, she ruled hogwarts with an iron fist. I need to follow in her footsteps but better. What’s your name by the way? Sorry I forgot to ask, my manners are bad I know don’t mention it.” Nellie threw her hands up in a sort of what could you do about it manner. 

“Elena Potter.” She finally spoke. It drew the girls attention to her, an invitation to scrutiny. They stared at each other in the eye challenging the other.

“Oh.” She smiled slightly, she should be higher in the food chain. But by virtue of being engaged to a Black they were equal. “I see.”

“Regulus Black.” He nodded to her and smiled slightly more reserved. 

“Oh thank Merlin! I was scared I stumbled across some stupid Muggleborns. With you two we could totally achieve my plan.”

Another plan. They really didn’t have time to be dealing with this. Daphne had ruled hogwarts herself back in her time, covertly nowhere near as public as the rest of her family members had been. She knew how taxing it was to deal with. 

But her aunts face as she spoke about her dream to be better than her siblings melted her. She felt drawn to the girl, prettily laughing and twirling her dark blond hair around with one finger. On her finger a ring laid. Her first engagement, serious enough to warrant a ring. Alexander Slughorn would slip off to France when he turned seventeen and would never be seen again. She could save them both. They would. 

Regulus caught her eye and cocked an eyebrow. Would they? Could they? It’s not like they had anything better to do. The early years of Hogwarts would be the most boring, they were also the most critical when plotting domination. She knew without them what would happen to Nellie. It hurt but she couldn’t allow it. She wasn’t a Greengrass anymore, but still she felt something for Nellie. She reminded her of Astoria, before she turned away from her. 

She nodded at him. They could make time, their plan was more convenient. Nothing would stop them, this was just entertainment in the meantime.

Regulus couldn’t help but stare as Nellie, she had insisted that he never call her Greengrass to her face, and Elena animatedly chatted with the girl after. 

Nellie was terrifying while they attended Hogwarts. He had never crossed her before but he knew people who had. The thought of what she could do to them was enough to scare him. But what she could do for them if given enough time to cultivate her. Being on her good side would have immeasurable benefits. Everything she could do for them, if she remained the same Nellie. Demon Greengrass.

She was a valuable friend to have. She hadn’t had any in their original time, none that he knew of at least. Her death was tragic but not unexpected. Everyone knew it was a matter of time before she targeted the wrong person. Elena would want to save her, she would have to be calculated into the plan. His head was already hurting. The plan was complicated enough without adding another person into the mix. 

They couldn’t do anything yet, but they could plant the seeds.

The compartment door slid open and in waltzed Sirius and Potter. Potter glared at him and made a motion at his neck. Sirius shoved the other boy away from the door and took his place.

“Oh Reggie you’ve got another little friend!” He wanted to bang his head on the wall. He loved his brother, he wanted to save him from his own fate. But this? He was making it tempting to let him rot in Azkaban. 

“Sirius if you mind?” Elena, Merlin save her, stood and pushed him out of the already cramped compartment. She stuck her head out of the doorway. “James?” 

“Oh um make sure to get dressed. We’ll be at hogwarts before you know it and-“

“Potter! You’re already messing with the first years!” In walked the pretty redhead. Lily Evans was the most spirited of Sirius’ crew. Elena groaned and put her head into her hands. He frowned and kicked her ankle. Unbecoming of a Lady engaged to the house of Black. “I’m sorry about him really don’t let him bother you too much. He can be an actual tosser.”

This time it was his turn groan. Both Nellie and Elena looked offended. “Listen here-“ Nellie stood her face turning bright red. Her infamous temper was rising right up.

Elena grabbed her arm and pushed her back down. “Evans yes? Don’t worry I live with him. If he does anything Mum and Dad will know. Right James?” She was pushing him out as well. “So if you guys don’t mind arguing out there? Oh thank you! Hello there Peter! So sorry you have to deal with this. Alright then goodbye I’ll see you at hogwarts!” She slammed the compartment door in their face and turned back. 

She was trying to suppress her smile and was failing miserably. Nellie wasn’t even trying. She was on the floor laughing. “Did you see their faces? Hilarious! Elena you have to teach me!” 

He found himself laughing with her, surprised he stopped. He was losing control around them. Around Elena? Not surprising. But with Nellie? A girl who’s name previously struck a cord of fear in him?

Looking at the tiny little blond he couldn’t help but picture her older self. Short, thin, and ruthless. She smiled so easily as she tore you apart. She was a lion through and through. Yet somehow she dug her way into the house of snakes. Eat or be eaten as she would cheer. 

“You two messed up your hair.” It was true of course for Nellie, her hair was falling out of its tight pigtails. Elena screamed and touched her hair. Riling her up was the best part of his day. He reached out and started to undue Nellies hair. “I’ve got it don’t worry. I have to do Elenas all the time.” He rolled his eyes in her direction as she tore her hair out of its careful bun. 

She started to try to braid it but she was obviously growing anxious about it. He felt guilty all of a sudden for messing with her. He knew better than to mess with her when she’s in such a delicate state. Why had he done it? 

Because you’re an impulsive eleven year old.

He finished with Nellies hair and tore Elena’s hands from messing with her own. She wouldn’t let anyone care for it but him. He had to learn to care for it fast, she had a tendency to pull it out when she got too anxious. 

Nellie hummed as she watched the two of them. “So you guys are engaged.” It was said more as a fact rather than a question so he didn’t respond. Elena just looked down. “How long?” She was quiet now.

“Officially? A few years. Unofficially probably since we were like two.” She was far more calm now she was toying with a piece of hair he braided.

Nellie nodded but before she could say anything else the trolley lady showed up. They ordered as many sweets as they could handle. They strayed away from topics like their engagement or her anxiety. They didn’t mention the fact that Nellie was quiet and less boisterous now. They talked happily and when the train arrived at Hogwarts they cheered. He couldn’t wait for seven years of this. 

“Black, Regulus!” 

The sorting had begun. Elena couldn’t have been more scared than she was at that moment. The hat could read your mind how could she have forgotten such a crucial thing? She doubted it would speak about anything if she begged it but still. 

“Slytherin!” Expected.

His mother would be more than furious with him if he didn’t go there. Sirius she noticed wasn’t animated anymore. He was sad but not surprised. She wondered how James would react to her own sorting. Would he be disappointed with her? 

On the names went. Each proclaiming a new house. Regulus had been joined by one other boy so far and one girl. 

“Greengrass, Nelona!” 

Nellie bounded forward, she was confident. She was so perfect. Everything about her exuded the vibe of a Greengrass. Refined, cold, confident. Nothing of the Nellie she had known on the train remained anymore.

“Slytherin!” 

She wished she was surprised. Her heart was in her throat as it got closer to Potter. She was scared of the inevitable. Would she be in Slytherin? What would the hat know? 

“Potter, Elena!”

A hush around the Great Hall. It had fallen still once for Nellie and once for Regulus. Two practical royalties. Then there was her. Engaged to Regulus, the sister of the infamous James Potter (and how had James managed to get so much fame in one year?). 

She stepped forward calmly. Her control was immaculate. She was no longer Elena. She wasn’t Daphne either. She was something in between the two. Cold but naive. Sweet but cruel. She was a perfect balance in those few steps up to the stool.

As the hat whispered into her ear and asked her questions of sorts she knew in her heart where she should be. The hat if it could smile would have. Her heart leapt once more to her throat as it opened its mouth and proclaimed loudly to the hall.

“Hufflepuff!” 

The hush around the hall was different now. No one moved, no one breathed. No one so much as breathed a word. She didn’t dare allow herself to glance around the hall. She took off the hat and handed it over. 

She stood and started to walk to the Hufflepuff table. A few seven years stood and led an applause. The rest of the table soon joined and started to cheer for her. She sat down at the table and smiled at the second year around her. She was the only first year so far. 

The hall never seemed to recover from the shock that was her sorting. Even as dinner started they broke out into whispers and gossip. They couldn’t see it now could they? Elena and Daphne, one in the same. They wouldn’t let this opportunity slip. She was a Potter. She was a Greengrass. She had the life experience of two people. Of two families. 

She knew so much more. She knew how to play people now. She had no interest in ruling Hogwarts, not again at least. But that didn’t stop her from craving a sort of fame. She finally allowed herself to look at the Slytherin table. Regulus had been trying to catch her eye the entire time. He only raised an eyebrow at her but it was enough. Nellie was different, she was practically bouncing in her seat. By the time dinner had been announced she had settled a plate, stood up and walked over to the Hufflepuff table. 

She didn’t say a word as she ate next to her. Silent acceptance. Even at eleven she knew? She hadn’t learned exactly how to play this tactic until thirteen. She couldn’t believe she was the only first year in hufflepuff. She was sure this hasn’t been a thing before. Where were the other first years? No one was acting like this was strange. The older years were so happy and kept patting her head.

She didn’t pay attention to anything for the rest of the night. She hardly comprehended the speech that Dumbledore gave. It was the same as always of course. Death death death death.

She stood with the rest of her house and started to make their way to the dorms. Regulus caught her arm and pulled her to the back. Her house mates glanced at them and seemed ready to step in. She waved them off and moved to the back with him. She was numb. 

“Okay?”

“Sure.” She replied.

“Meet before breakfast tomorrow in the front of the great hall we can talk more.” He smiled, that small smile he always reserved for her. She couldn’t help but smile back. 

“Okay.” He walked away from her and she was faced with the thought that she had no dorm mates and was alone in a house full of overly nice people.

James would never let her live this down. Wasn’t this good though? Everyone trusted a hufflepuff. Even James would have trouble being mean. After all she’s a hufflepuff, how could you do that? 

She smiled freely now, she folded into a persona. Just as Daphne would. Just as Elena found herself doing while in the muggle world. She would play her part and she would do it well. But she was scared more than anything. 

Because as she walked closer and closer to the kitchen all she could see was the bodies of house elf’s. From a future that never was and never could happen. She could see Astoria walking ahead, her hair loose and waved. She could see her smiling, she could see her bleeding. 

She exhaled and turned away. Hogwarts was home.


	7. In blood we’re bound

“Any questions?” The Hufflepuff head boy smiled brilliantly at her. 

“Just one,” his smile brightened if possible, “is it a requirement for hufflepuffs to always smile? James said it was.” She pulled her best naive expression. 

Dirk melted into the palm of her hand. Tall golden haired and charming. He was influential even for a Hufflepuff. “Don’t listen to Pot-er I mean James. Trust me the lions always make up rumors about us.” He laughed easily. She had never known someone to be so genuinely happy. If she was Daphne maybe she would have liked him more than she did. But Elena was different in that regard. 

One in the same. Balanced. 

“Are you sure?” She twiddled with her ring. “Oh! What time does breakfast start?” 

A passing fourth year patted her head and smiled. She smiled back, though only on reflex. She hated people touching her hair. 

“There’s still another hour at least. Feel free to hang out around here no one will bother you.” He was right about that. Since the sorting the day before everyone had taken to babying her. Being the only first year seemed to have them all prone to catering and over compensating. The second years even got into it much to her annoyance. 

“Thanks Gorger! I have to meet Regulus though, he said before breakfast so I think I’ll head out now.” She turned away before he could continue talking and quickly hurried into the tunnels. 

Who knew the hufflepuffs had a whole tunnel system around hogwarts? They had given her a brief run down of the basic tunnels, she would have to figure the rest out on her own. It was supposed to be a fun experience. New tunnels were being discovered every few years. She could never let Nellie know, she hadn’t known her long but she knew exactly what she would do with the information. Just knowing the type of person she could be was enough to give her pause on letting information like this slip.

Regulus was exactly where he said he would be. Leaning against the wall, he kept looking around nervously. He was playing around with the sleeve of his robe and biting his lip. He was gonna draw blood soon if he didn’t stop that annoying habit. 

She slipped out of the wall glancing around to make sure no one had seen her. It was still early enough that no one was out and about. A few Ravenclaws wandered down from up the hall and a yawning Slytherin was walking down the staircase. 

Slowly she approached Regulus waiting for him to notice her. They hadn’t talked the day before and she was almost scared to face him. Being a Hufflepuff wasn’t a horrible crime, but it was still somewhat embarrassing when faced with a family of Slytherin and Gryffindor. 

“Where did you want to talk?” She was speaking slowly but there was no need. Even if someone was around to hear no one would bother listening. Who cared for first years conversations? She hadn’t. 

He didn’t speak, just grabbed her wrist and took her away from the opening of the hall. So like him, never responding just taking action. He was walking with that determined stride of someone who knew exactly where he was going. 

“Where’s Nellie?” She hadn’t meant to ask but it came out all the same. This time he glanced back at her and the look that only an eleven year old could pull was very prominent on his face. 

“Where do you think?” He said, she didn't respond to him.

Still she followed him in. An abandoned classroom just like the one she remembered Tracy always used to snog Draco in. Third year was so weird.

“So?” She finally said after a lengthy silence. 

“I thought you were a Slytherin.” It was all he had to say but the implication behind it was enough to make her wince. 

“I was.” Not wanting to elaborate she looked at her shoes. “But that was Daphne.” 

“Are you not Daphne?” 

“Well-I am. But it’s complicated alright?”

“Of course it is.” She looked up but he wasn’t looking at her. He was staring at the board next to him. “This could be good. The plan could work out well, a few adjustments and it’ll all be fine.”

All they ever seemed to talk about was their plan. A plan to bring down Voldemort, to stop his rise. She was sick of it. She wanted her life back. But if it meant sacrificing these few years just to enjoy the fruits of their labor? She could only hope it was worth it. “Right of course. But there’s something you didn’t tell me.” She narrowed her eyes as his cheeks flushed. “So?” 

“Erm it’s about how I died.” She couldn’t hold in her gasp. “I was after something that could render him immortal.” He remembered? 

There was no question of who he was talking about but of what. “Immortal?”

“Have you ever heard of a Horcrux?” 

“I can’t believe your brother did that!” A few weeks at Hogwarts and she still couldn’t believe how much she missed the Weasley Twins. At least they had the decency to leave the first years alone. 

“I can’t believe he was stupid enough to get caught,” he had winked at her to as he was being dragged out of the hall. “Prat.”

Regulus was glowering beside them as they walked to the greenhouse. Herbology first thing in the morning. He had tried to fix his bright green hair but to no avail. Nellie hadn’t even bothered and instead went straight to Slughorn and asked nicely to fix it. (It wasn’t exactly nice, she really had bullied him into it. A funny sight as well. Four foot nothing Nellie practically ordering around the rather large professor).

They had fallen into a sort of routine. She would try to warn them of any pranks that may befall them, they would fall into said pranks, and she would try to find the cure. 

Remus Lupin had become a big help, he wasn’t easily bullied but with her first year charm she was able to get him to help. James had left her alone in terms of pranks. He teased her mercilessly about her house but after a few talks from the upper years he mostly just smirked at her now. 

She was very uneasy. Everything she did was tedious, she already had learned all of the spells and how to handle plants. She hated Herbology actually and would have loved to skip out on it. 

Unfortunately her reputation wouldn’t be able to take the hit. A few weeks in and she was known as the sweet potter child who would always be around. Nothing like her devil brother. The Professors adored her. (Slughorn not so much. He was still warming up to her. James must have done something truly horrible to him because he always looked at her as if he was waiting for a huge prank to explode in his face.).

Elena almost missed all the long talks about the plan. They hadn’t discussed it past their meeting in the classroom. They hadn’t talked for long about anything. She still wasn’t sure how they were supposed to help Nellie rule hogwarts. And what was that supposed to mean anyway? She had done it in her own form but no one had explained it truly to her. 

Was it each your own? From what she knew from Regulus, Nellie had been a hellion. But that didn’t match the view she had of the sweet girl, though she did get her way with everything.

Maybe they should arrange a meeting sometime. The three of them hadn’t had a chance to really talk, they sat together during dinner and they talked in classes. Yet they hadn’t actually discussed what Nellie wanted out of them. There was a plan most probably. Her head was starting to hurt just thinking about all of the nuances and schemes.

She was eleven. Why couldn’t she just be eleven? When she was Daphne she hadn’t been scheming. Trying to rule hogwarts was different, that was a hobby. There was no need to be all political. She just had to be scared. 

“-than he had the audacity-“

“Sprout is going to murder us for being late.”

“-to scream at me!” Nellie laughed as she bounced into the greenhouse. Loitering outside as they did would get them murdered by Sprout. 

Elena followed behind dutifully. She didn’t have the energy to really argue with Nellie about her brother and his friends. She wasn’t sure she wanted to.

Things were just so complicated. 

Regulus was frustrated. Though not unusual for him it was different now. Hogwarts was supposed to be the first step of their plan to take down the Dark Lord.

Infiltrate and influence. Take control of the population and plant the seeds of distrust for a new power. Being an eleven they couldn’t do much, no one listened to the first years. How could he have forgotten? The only thing that had gotten him through the first year was his family name. 

This time around he had the name to lean on but he was also engaged to a Potter. His social status was sinking with every political move the Potters made. He wasn’t sure what his parents were thinking with this match. He was worried about his family's future. At the rate they were going the house of Black would be a thing of the past.

From what he was told, that future was very likely to happen. Sirius was a sodding prat who needed to be taken down. Either he stepped up as heir or left. There couldn’t be any in between. 

Nellie elbowed his side, potions was a horrible class. Slughorn still liked him but was considerably more wary thanks to Elena. Elena was sitting in front of him, very obviously passing a note back.

Nellie laughed as she handed it to him. It simply read, “pay attention!”.

He didn’t need to but did Elena care? Of course not! So here he was bored out of his mind and brooding. Regulus often wondered how his life turned out this way. Plotting was considerably more exciting than actually enacting their plan of destruction.

Elena was far more focused on the research parts, she had all the big questions. Questions he himself would love to have answered. Such as why they both retained their memories after reincarnation? They didn’t have time to ponder though, he was on the rise. 

Regulus was frustrated he couldn’t do more but be an eleven year old.


	8. in my heart she sat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for late update, had a bit of a cold <3

The dead were cold. They were wet. They felt like slime. They were a lot of things. 

But most of all cold. People didn’t feel like that, it was a different sort of cold. The type of cold that could never be warmed no matter the amount of charms you layered on top of it. You could sit in front of the furnace and stick your hands right in and all you would have were cold hands that never got warmer. 

He didn’t remember a lot about dying. He just remembered how cold they were. He could feel them sometimes grabbing his ankles. He could still feel the ghost pains on his chin as that was the first part of him to feel the impact of the ground. Sometimes he looked at his legs and wondered at the fact that no sign was left now. 

He could still feel them. Cold long fingers grabbing at his robes. They caught him and dragged him in. It wasn’t slow; it was faster than he could imagine. They were hungry. They hadn’t said as much but he could feel it. He remembered vividly his shirt riding up, how the ground scraped his stomach. He hadn’t had time to feel pain, he walked into this knowingly yet he still grabbed at the floor. 

He was so thirsty, he was activity fighting the best he could. But it was so hard to not give in and just drink. 

He didn’t want to think about what happened next. But that’s the thing about thoughts. The more you actively try to not think about something the more you do think about it. 

So even if he thought “I don’t want to see myself drown,” the image of himself appeared. He hadn’t really seen himself of course. But it was a weird sort of time where the memory itself was in third person. 

He had long since rationalized that it was a sort of coping mechanism. He had a lot of those. 

He hadn’t spiraled in a long time. He accepted that he had died and come back to life. He willingly died. It was all for a greater cause, he hoped that he would never have to directly face him. It was cowardly in a way. 

He could have done so many things. He could have run to his brother, told his parents, he could have leaked the information. But with what he knew and how it would be obvious. 

But did he have to die? Regulus often struggles with this concept. He would lay in bed and struggle and struggle. 

It was one of those times now where he just didn’t know if he did the right thing. This time though he felt comfortable to leave the dorm and run around. As a first year he could never have thought to do that. 

He was far too time bound for his own good, but he was also eleven. Regulus couldn’t blame himself too much. As it was he was currently avoiding Filch and trying to get to the Astronomy tower. There would be no classes today as the sky was too cloudy. 

He always found that confusing, wizards could change the weather if they wanted to yet the laws said no. It was insane to him, what was the point? Muggles? They would believe anything you told them to believe. They tried so hard to make everything make sense. 

So far there had been a few close calls with Ms. Skattle, the insane old cat Filch kept around as a guard. How the pest managed to run so fast he had not the faintest clue. He was happy to remember that she dies sometime next year. 

The brief distraction she left him was enough. He had stopped panicking a while ago. Now he walked slower and more reserved. He wasn’t lost but he felt like it. 

He was really tired. He wished he was still dead. He wished he the world didn’t weigh on his shoulders. But he had to die. He had to. 

There was no excuse he couldn’t be coward. Not anymore. 

For a life that Sirius could live happy. Where the Potters could stay alive and be a family. Where his father doesn’t die from the stress of the lord. His mother doesn’t die broken and lonely. Kreacher could be happy. Nellie wouldn’t die, she would grow up and have the fifth-teen kids she always talked about. Elena and him could live in peace like she wanted. Everything could be better. 

They had to take him down. 

Still there plan wasn’t perfect. Being alone really was making him think more. Was it possible to take down the lord without fighting him? 

It hinged on so many variables that they couldn’t directly control. Sirius was so unpredictable! He was so young now, but so was he. How could they mold him into what they need? Would he even still be Sirius? 

Sirius was another problem wasn’t he? He destroyed their family, he left when he needed him most. They hadn’t been the closest, but they were family. Had that met nothing?

So their plan came down to this. Sirius needed to be on their side, simple enough but it was Sirius. Regulus had so many unresolved issues with him, that he would never get resolved. This wasn’t his Sirius. This wasn’t really his family. 

The only person he saw was Elena. But she wasn’t Elena Potter she was Daphne Greengrass.

“I’m going crazy.” He couldn’t believe he actually said it out loud. He wasn’t going crazy. He was being dramatic and anxious. 

He was stumbling now on the steps. He was almost at the very top. Maybe then he could breathe. He felt as if he had been holding his breath ever since he stepped foot into this castle. 

Hogwarts was home. But home wasn’t where his heart was. This home was a jail. When he turned around he saw an older Avery smearing blood on the walls. He saw Cassandra Yaxley laying on the floor of the common room gasping for air. 

He could still smell fire. 

He hated his home. 

The tower allows him room to think and breathe.

He stood at the top of the tower and finally he left out a breath. Before the walls felt as if they were closing in but now he wasn’t sure. But it was better. 

He pushed himself to the very back and leaned against the wall. He felt so many things at once he wasn’t sure what was wrong with him.


	9. the wicked control

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There’s a bit of a time jump in this chapter so I’m sorry if there’s any confusion.

He wasn’t sure how long he watched the open air before she found him. It could have been minutes or hours. All that mattered was one moment he was freezing and alone and the next he was freezing with company.

Elena always had a knack for finding him when he least wanted to be found. It was one of those talents that was just so unexplainable it was stupid. Everything was stupid nowadays though.

“Go on then.” She said. After that she sat across from him and watched his face. He wasn’t sure what she was seeing exactly. It was dark enough to where she could only see a general outline.

Her hair was down oddly. That was the only thing he noticed about her. She never wore her hair down, she was ridiculous with following rules that weren’t even expected of her. For the most part that was, not too long from now they would be enforced but now? She could enjoy her childhood.

Focusing on her made it easier for him to forget his own problems. Their influence crashing down, his grandfather's death. Had this all happened before?

The death yes, but their family problems? He wasn’t sure anymore. He had been so young who knew what was flying over his head.

“I don’t know what you’re waiting for.”

This time it was her turn not to reply. What was she looking for when she gave him that look? What was she expecting?

Did she want to hear their plan was ridiculous and he knew it? That his whole world was falling apart? That every time he looked at his brother all he could see was the mass murderer? What was she waiting for?

Instead of saying anything she moved to sit next to him. Wrapping her arms around his shoulders they watched the sky.

He still didn’t understand her. But that was okay he supposed, as long as they had their agreement they could survive this.

* * *

Halloween was fast approaching. As was customary first years gathered around the great hall two weeks before the actual holiday to learn all about the church of merlin.

For children who weren’t born into society it was almost like a fairytale they heard growing up. Some rejected the church and vowed only to believe in their Christian, Jewish, or whatever god they pleased. Others saw it as a different approach to religion and had a dual religion type of thing.

Regulus wasn’t sure what to think of it. He had been born into this supposedly. In this life the church of Merlin was all around, everything they did revolves around it. You were blessed by the priests on the day of your first accidental magic, you visited the temples once a month and vowed on your magic. You learned all about Merlin and his deeds.

Yet in his previous world it was a sort of conspiracy only the daft believed. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do but he followed along so he wouldn’t be labeled as a heretic. Almost all purebloods of good standing were either dual or solo merlinites. Officially he was dual, unofficially he didn’t know anything.

He walked next to Nellie as she chatted his ear off about their temple and how beautiful it would be. He didn’t dislike her, but she almost seemed disappointing when compared to her fearsome reputation. Even now people strayed away and gave her wary glances. Regulus couldn’t fathom what was so terrifying about her.

“Do you know what they’re gonna teach us?” He finally put in.

She rolled her eyes with a small laugh. “My bet is they’re gonna do the sermon they always do and add a little more magic.” Regulus almost wished she was wrong.

They stopped in front of the doors waiting impatiently for Professor Dumbledore to open it and announce their priest. Alex Slughorn was at the right of the double doors watching the two of them anxiously he noticed. He wondered for a passing moment what that was about. Nellie seemed to not even see him.

He couldn’t keep the frown off his face. His chest was eating away at him. He wished this entire month would just be over with already.

Finally after taking a hundred years the headmaster made his appearance. With a pretty display of flashes and sparks he appeared right in front of the door. Poor Alex and another Ravenclaw boy jumped in freight. The headmaster was wearing long red robes and an emerald green hat. He almost looked like a carrot.

Nellie shivered and muttered something about exotic clothing. With a grand flush of his wand the doors sprang open behind him.

“Welcome students! I know for many of you this may seem strange and for some I’m sure this seems boring, but we’re trying this year to cater to everyone.” Even from the middle of the crowd Regulus could see the little twinkle in his eye when he said this. “After some nice feedback from the second years,” he could only imagine what nice meant here, “we changed some of the curriculum taught in these upcoming lectures. Yes I did say lectures with an s, my apologies Ms. Caters I know you don’t like sitting still.”

He let out the deepest sigh he could. Of course by updating the curriculum would they make them learn even more than before.

“Now everyone please grab a buddy, that’s it I mean everyone. There’s an even number of you I expect everyone to have someone.”

Nellie shared an uncomfortable glance with him. Touching another girl was inappropriate when you were attached to someone else, past a certain age it was very frowned upon. Especially in such a public setting.

She held out her hand and shrugged. He reached out and held onto her wrist. For both their comfort this was the best option. “Wonderful! Let’s get inside now. Pick up the step now we have a nice full day ahead of you.”

He almost wished classes hadn’t been cancelled for the day.

* * *

As it turns out the lecture didn’t go the way she predicted. In fact it turned out worst. Nellie hated being wrong and right now she cursed it. 

The priest was one everyone mutually hated. All children who went to the Hogsmead temple knew Priest Merlin the jest. He was the most annoying of the priests to ever take the name Merlin. 

Yet somehow he had been given the honor? He was horrible! He stood terribly cocky at the center of the great hall and gave them all this terrible look of condensation. They were forced to sit with their buddies lining up against the wall in order of house.

It didn’t take long for even the Muggleborns to hate the man. There was just something about him that was so easy to hate. It was probably the voice. The most annoying voice in history! He just drew out every syllable of every word. He didn’t know when to shut his mouth either. On and on he went.

She was practically falling asleep on Regulus and he was joining her. The only thing that kept her from tilting was the sight of Alex partnered up with Ele, he looked even more uncomfortable than Regulus had which was rather funny. 

Ele of course didn’t show any sign of emotion that wasn’t pure happiness. She smiled and nodded along as the Priest drowned and droned and made the whole idea of church sound dreadful.

Was this their new revamped curriculum? If this was better she shuddered to think what the last years must have looked like. 

She glared at the boy next to her who the audacity to laugh at something the stupid priest said. She couldn’t believe they would have to go through multiple of these.

Nellie pulled at Regulus sleeve and made a face in the direction of Ele, who was currently torturing poor Alex. He tried to contain a smile as his eyes finally shot open from their suspiciously long blink.

“Wonder what she’s saying to him?” She whispered out of the corner of her mouth.

“Probably some rumor. Did you hear about-“ 

And just like that their friendship turned into something she could actually appreciate. He made the lecture a little less boring as he seemed to remember all this sort of gossip. How fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annnd that’s end for the chapter! Tell me what you think so far and what you like or don’t like about the story. I want to take your feedback into consideration while planning the rest of the chapters.


	10. the will of many, the fire of you

As the lecture went on, and make no mistake that’s what it was, Elena couldn’t help but tease the silly ravenclaw she partnered with. 

It was an unwilling partnership on his end, he was terrified of her for some unknown reason. When she looked at him she saw a man running, disappeared and went with the wind. She really just wanted to see who this Alex Nellie was supposed to marry was. What she saw made her disappointed.

So he was only eleven, he didn’t grow into any elements of confidence yet. He was awkward and dorky. Too tall for his own clothes, stiff as if he didn’t know what he was doing with himself. He was just like every ravenclaw she knew and it disappointed her. Elena had taken up the past time of messing with him if only to pass the time. If asked she would state that it was simply to toughen him up. Not that anyone would believe that, she was Elena Potter. Why would she be so needlessly cruel? 

“Miss Potter!” The priest's screech made her wince. 

“Yes Priest Merlin?” She tried to smile her kindest smile, the one her mother made her practice before visiting the local Temple. 

“I would expect you to pay attention. Seeing who your Father is, perhaps he has taught you all that I am saying already!” He said. 

She kept up her smile but she panicked. He hadn’t made any attempt to teach her anything but the barest of all basics. He was no messenger, one of the lower ranked teachers, he didn’t know much she was sure.

“He has indeed Sr.” She wished she ripped her tongue out. Why had she opened her mouth?! She was dull wasn’t she?

To her surprise the priest smiled the first real smile. His eyes were shining with excitement, “Has he? Oh wonderful! So that brother of yours-“ he blinked. “Ah James was it? So he knows more than he leads on!” He went off muttering to himself.

Inwardly she patted herself on the back, smiling your way through your lies was the best trick. She did feel bad though for James. Poor poor little James.

* * *

Today was no longer good. The jester priest had the audacity of forcing her to dance! Dance! 

A dance that she hardly knew mind, a dance she never wanted to learn. But oh of course it’s required. Of course it would be! Because why not?! 

They had been told to pair up with someone else for this. She had smiled at Alex and practically shoved him at Nellie as she claimed Regulus for her partner.

Nellie looked incredibly awkward to be anywhere near as close as they were. The floor could have swallowed her up and she still would have been cringing.

“You know I’m starting to really think you’re a real Potter.” Regulus said to her. It was quiet, but still managed the smallest whisper. 

“Why did you never believe it?” Her face hurt from holding her practiced smile. “I’m not a good dancer.” They started to get in position. Another priestess had joined and they started to demonstrate the first part of the dance. 

“I’m fairly proficient, I was at least.” 

“I’m counting on it then. Can’t be upstaged by these children.” 

“You know we’re children as well yes?”

“We don’t count.”

“Of course not Elena. Of course not.”

* * *

It was probably the worst lesson of his life. That was saying something as he had trained under Bellatrix once upon a time. 

The lesson was sufficiently goofy to put a smile on his face for a while. As he walked out of the hall, Nellie on one side and Elena on the other, it was easy to forget his Grandfather's death. 

He had written before he died. Regulus didn’t have the heart to open it yet. How could he? The last words of a man that had meant too much to him. A man he shouldn’t care for. A man who had done so much wrong, yet all he did was love Regulus like no other.

Nellie tugged his arm and spun him around her. He laughed but pulled away. She hardly noticed and pulled Elena into her grasp. They were so happy. So natural.

What was that like? To look at a family member and see what they could be. They could be great. They could be powerful. If only you work harder and harder. 

That’s what the church said. But the church could be wrong. 

“Stop frowning you’ll get lines little brother!” Sirius in all of his glory stood behind him. He couldn’t see but he could imagine, he would be slouching. Maybe his tie was gone and his hair not completely combed but a careful mess.

“How did you know I was frowning?” He couldn’t help the childish squeak. 

Now he moved in front of him. Nellie and Elena glanced for a moment but they were too involved with their conversation. Elena maybe though, she may have half an ear out.

“Because I know you Reggie.” He continued on before he could get mad at the name, “When the going gets tough-“

“Stick like you have a personal sticking charm yeah yeah I get it.” He shrugged his brother's hand away from his shoulder. He couldn’t help it, when he looked at him he saw the murderer. What he could be. 

Now it was Sirius who frowned. No doubt he would have said something scathing had she given him the chance. “Where’s James?” Elena was looking at Sirius as if he had just appeared before his eyes instead of minutes before. 

“Oh running from Filch. The usual!” The carefree tone of his voice sent a bolt of anxiety down his chest. “Should be running this way soon, why? Did you three do something?” Now he knew why he was anxious. Sirius had a face he made when he thought something naughty was going down. The face was devious and scary. A face that his father did everything he could to suppress.

“Mmh.” Elena coughed into her elbow. Nellie laughter against the wall.

“Oh!” The word left his mouth as he started the laugh along. “Good going by the way Elena.”

“What? Don’t leave poor Sirius out of the loop!”

“I may have told Priest Jester that Father taught us far more about the church than he did. Like way more? Father hardly mentions anything.” Sirius' eyes opened comically. His mouth hangs open as he gasped.

“Elena! James is going to kill you for that. Oh this is good. You’re going to get him studying ha! Can’t ruin your pops reputation.” He shook his head. “Good one there. Revenge for the cat? Sorry about that yeah? I may have helped him get her and well yeah.” 

“So I have you to blame? Well in that case-“ 

“Elena I know this is your fault!” The screech of her brother led her to a halt. So this is where she died? Regulus wondered how it would happen, since her brother's hand hadn’t been his top guess. 

“I’ll see you later Sirius! Nelona I’m gonna need a hand - uh thank you.” She glanced at Regulus with an eyebrow raised. 

Shaking his head he made a slight motion with his hand. With a grimace Nellie dragged her away deep into the tunnels. Sirius narrowed his eyes as Regulus pulled his attention away from said tunnels.

“Sirius.” It was his time to shine. Where Elena excelled at making you look at her and think nothing, she could work with anyone. Regulus found that he was the master of the family. Pulling them just right. Years of extra experience of playing the baby. He knew what must be done and when. The naive little boy was gone.

He pulled him away now, from the crowds and the screaming of James. His friends hadn’t seen them and couldn’t save him now. “Sirius please?” 

“Reg what’s wrong? I can’t help if you don’t say anything.” Just as soft, for a moment his heart constricted. He was reminded suddenly of when they were little, in another life where Sirius would dote on him. 

“I’m scared.” It was a hard thing to admit. Because it was the truth. He played with lies with truths. He played so much he sometimes got lost. 

(“Don’t you want to help? Don’t you want them to scream?”)

He swallowed. “Without him how will the house survive?”

His brother slumped with relief. “Was that it? Reggie don’t worry about that, Father knows what he’s doing. Even if it doesn’t look like it. Trust me!” He smiled. 

He returned it but still he felt fear. “I don’t understand why he does things.” Sirius continued. “But we don’t have to understand to trust him.”

As he listened half heartedly he thought of the real crux of his curiosity. “Okay.”

“Better? Good! Just because you're a snake doesn’t mean you can’t come over to the table and ask for me to get it? You better remember that.”

He patted his head and started to leave. 

“Wait Sirius!” His brother turned still smiling. When he smiled like that all he could see was the young man he would become. “Why did the priest single out Elena about her father?” Sirius blinked for a moment considering him with surprise.

“You already know? It’s been a few years now, jeez Reggie Merlin catch up.” He threw his head back and laughed. “He’s Priest Arthur! Of course he picks on James about it all the time. Right ol’ joke he is trust me. Jest that is not they’re dad!” 

“Oh.” Was that all he could say? Oh? This was big. No, this was bigger than big. Not only was her father the third highest ranking in the church, that brought the Blacks influence up. They were safe! 

New information, new plans, new ideas. He couldn’t stop smiling as he ran to the astronomy tower. She should be there hiding from her brother by now. 


	11. Cultivating you

“Sooo why are you running exactly?” Nellie said. She was bent over and gasping for breath. “He doesn’t even know yet!”

“Because,” Elena leaned against the wall clutching her chest, “if James is calling your name loudly you run. Trust me.”

“But, I, what?” Nellie fell to the floor. Her legs ache terribly. She thought by sitting it would help but with her luck they ached even worse.

“Did you not hear him? He said it was my fault! I don’t know what he’s talking about but better let him cool off.” Elena stayed standing and started stretching her legs. She couldn’t let her mind wander too much, Hogwarts was a sensitive place for her still and it brought terrible memories.

Nellie grimaced, “I don’t know El, he didn’t seem that made. It probably wasn’t even that bad! I mean what could you have possibly done.” She let a small giggle escape her lips before coughing up a lung. “Why did we run ugh. We’re in a tunnel he probably doesn’t even know about.”

“We’re actually in the astronomy tower.”

“Wait how did we get here so fast! The tower was on the other side of the castle!”

“Uh, tunnels and a shortcut?”

“That hardly even makes-“

“Magic!”

Nellie sat straight up and glared at her. Lifting a finger she pointed it straight at Elena's nose. “You know you can’t blame everything on magic right?” With her piece said she flopped back onto the floor and sighed.

She couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity, seeing Nellie practically pouting on the floor was comical. It was hard really watching someone so young be so carefree.

Hadn’t it been like this once upon a time? Before Hogwarts was taken over? Laughter and smiles. It wasn’t always happy but children didn’t live in fear of their teachers. They could walk the halls without downcast eyes or wary glances at wands. It hadn’t been too long ago when she was Daphne, it had only been a year. But it felt like an eternity hadn’t it? 

Sometimes she wonders if Harry Potter manages to defeat him. He was the chosen one right? She couldn’t see it happening though. Harry was just a kid, they were all just children. No one could stand to look that man in his eyes and even attempt to lie. Much less try to kill him.

Her chest twisted horribly as she stared at the wall next to Nellie. Hadn’t they’re blood splattered across the tiles? Hadn’t they gone too far and things happened. His body thumped across the floor, she still remembered the smell. 

Elena didn’t know how much she missed Hogwarts in its older state. It was a beautiful thing ruined by someone who didn’t know love.

Daphne wouldn’t have been able to handle being back. She would have run, she would have cried and cried. She wouldn’t have stopped until she had nothing left to cry.

(“What’s wrong with you? Haven’t you ever seen a dead body?” Astoria looked up at her with cold eyes. She had never felt such fear before-)

“We still have to go to class.” She blinked and looked down at Nellie. Her eyes were closed, she thought she had fallen asleep. 

“We don’t have class today.” A soft oh left the other girls lips. 

Nellie Greengrass, the next queen of hogwarts. She was small and sassy. She had the air of someone who couldn’t sit still for too long, someone who needed constant attention. Nellie liked raspberries and her favorite drink was peach juice. She said pumpkin juice tasted like grapes and couldn’t stand it. 

Nellie was something of a problem. When Elena worked up to this new world she hadn’t thought about all of the little details, she had barely even thought of her old parents and seeing them anew. But this wasn’t something they planned for. Nellie was a spur of the moment “yes let’s be friends why not” and she couldn’t say she regretted it but it made things complicated.

First year was the year of establishing who you were. Making your story and letting people know who you were and that you meant business. Nellie couldn’t know the truth could she? She was just a little girl, she hadn’t known the horrors that they did. They couldn’t very well tell her now.

“Hey Nellie sorry we didn’t tell you earlier but we’re actually from the future and when we died we were also reborn! Oh did I tell you? I was actually your niece and you were dead before I was even born. Oh yeah there’s also this huge war and I have a ton of trauma and nightmares just thinking about all the stuff that happened in my sixth year! And Regulus was a death eater did we say that? He also had this super traumatic death! Hahaha did we mention Sirius was a mass murderer? And that my brother was killed because of him and his son was an orphan? Great story! Want some treacle tart?”

Yeah that wouldn’t go down well.

She had uses, if she just became the queen of hogwarts (and what did that even mean to her?) they could have all of the connections they needed. 

Elena just wanted to have a happy simple life, with a happy simple family. In a nice home and have nice children and be happy. Obviously this is to much too ask for. Elena couldn’t be happy as Daphne, she wouldn’t be allowed happiness here either.

It was with this sour thought that she allowed herself to finally sit next to Nellie and join in the pouting fest. Her head hurt, her chest felt odd, and all she wanted was some peace and quiet.

“Found you guys!” 

Or not. 

Regulus skidded right through the doorway of the astronomy tower and fell over. A loud crack was heard as his body thumped the floor. She could only imagine that hurt like Merlin's hell. 

“You okay there?” Nellie opened one eye and looked at him languidly. 

“No.” He groaned, lifting himself onto his knees.

“That’s good.” She curled into herself and continued to attend sleep. For the first time Elena noticed the little blanket she was laying her head on. It was the one she left up there for them when they tried to sneak away

Regulus rolled his eyes at her. A little smirk was thrown there way as he sat back finally and leaned on the wall across from them. 

“So your father is high priest Arthur and you never mentioned it?”

Nellie started laughing next to her, “How could you not have known that? Like come on that’s so old news! It was all over the papers even my parents were talking about it and they hate the church.”

“I don’t look at the papers. The prophet is just propaganda.” 

“You sound like my Uncle Gilkern.” With her eyes still closed she lifted herself up and started to make wide exaggerated motions with her hands. “Back in my day we learned about the news through the gossip circles during tea time! That’s what witches were good for yer see? News! Now all they do is gossip gossip gossip!” She let out an exaggerated cough and wheeze. “Darn prophet! Propaganda machine for the ministry! Down with the minister!” 

Elena couldn’t help laughing with Nellie at poor Regulus’ expense. The voice Nellie made to accompany the man was just too spot on. Daphne had fond memories of him, though when she knew him he must have been at least one hundred and fifty, and he was starting to show it.

Regulus pouted and snatched the blanket from Nellie. 

“Hey give it back!”

“Make me!”

The two were running around the tower now. Though it was a mock fight they laughed at each attempt of her grabbing the blanket back.

Elena could only enjoy the little moments like this. Soon they wouldn’t have this would they? Soon the start of the blood wars would arrive and nothing could stay the same. She wasn’t sure how they would play out now with the church but she was sure it would be just as bad.

Because this was what led to the rise of Voldemort. One little disagreement that led to centuries of hate and prejudice. Justified or not this would start his reign of terror. They could only do so much to drag their families away now. 

She smiled and laughed with them. But on the inside her chest thumped uncomfortably. She was fearful for the future.


End file.
